I’m Not Broken

I have lived with depression for more than half of my life. I used to hide it from the world, it was my burden and I didn’t want to bring anyone else down. Instead I allowed it to fester inside of me and take a dangerous hold.

For so many years I lived in darkness, letting my mental illness take the wheel and drive. My family shrugged it off as just a phase, but it was so much more than that. It wasn’t some teenage angst, it was my life and I couldn’t see any goodness in it. All my joy had been sucked from my soul and I was a shell of myself.

It wasn’t until a failed suicide attempt that I actually began to acknowledge that this ways no way to live life, there was something wrong with me, but that was okay. I was able to come to terms with my thoughts and feelings and ask for help.

You are NOT weak just because you suffer from a mental illness. It is the illness that tells you those lies, that try to convince you that you are not worth it, that this world is better off without you in it. But it’s not true. YOU are important. YOU are worth it. YOU are not alone.

It’s a long road, I know it’s something that will be with me for the rest of my life. I have accepted the darkness for what it is, and have sought out help to deal with the demons. Sometimes life is just really crappy, and it’s okay to have those thoughts and feelings as long as you don’t act on them.

Please don’t keep silence. Speak up. Someone will hear you.

Always Keep Fighting.

 

C.A. Gallinger

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